idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
