Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize