hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
