It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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