As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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