It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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