she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
