i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
