lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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