this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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