do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
And then my night got REAL pukey
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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