This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
