covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Randomize
