Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
