White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
