do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
