I'm jealous of your bromance
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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