It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
