Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
