if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
