I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
