Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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