She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
