the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
