its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize