Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
