I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
