Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
