If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
