You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
this hospital has no fireball
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
