On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
