Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
