And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
