i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
