I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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