You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
operation have a gay friend backfired
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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