Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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