Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
