i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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