we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
