1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
