You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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