That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
