Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
He passed out mid-signature
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Can I color on your dick again?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
