I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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