fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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