I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
so let's talk penis.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
