Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
