Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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