BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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