I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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