WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
