So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
