Christians are straight up FREAKS
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Randomize
