i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
