"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
