Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
