Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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