I love black thongs
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
