Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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