i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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