Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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