I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I pour the whiskey from now on
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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