Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Randomize
