so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
