Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
