Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I need to align my fucking chakras
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