Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Will exercising make me less horny?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
