just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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