I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
