THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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