and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
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